Wednesday April 25, 2007

That is a phrase Brian and I heard recently on a radio show.  We’ve grown up in dysfunctional families and we are learning as we go along how to be parents.  I am also a pioneer wife, learning how to be a godly wife.  We’ve been married 8 years in July.  The first 7 years of our marriage were really difficult at times—I sometimes wondered why I ever got married, is this really what it is supposed to be like, what am I doing wrong, will we ever have a healthy marriage.  Last summer we finally came to ground zero….we’ve been on a healthy path since then.  Going through “The Steps of Freedom” with the Bells was instrumental in our lives.  I’ve been praying since high school for God to bring healing to my heart from my hurts from growing up in a divorced and remarried home……today I can specifically see how God has been steadily answering those prayers.  I had a discouraging revelation two days ago…….I can be manipulative with my husband.  I never thought of myself that way…..I was just introduced to the idea this past summer that I grew up with manipulative models.  Eight months later, I realize I have followed my models’ example…..ugggghhhh!  I was so disgusted and sad and angry.  My motivation for years has been, “I don’t want to be like them.”  Brian reminded me today my motivation should be to be like Christ.  My disgust was instantly turned around to hope.  My prayer is for my kids to know Christ’s hope in spite of my own shortcomings and sin as a parent.  I pray they won’t need to be pioneer parents.

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9 thoughts on “Wednesday April 25, 2007”

  1. I’m continually thankful that in our weakness He is strong. As hard as it is to realize that about yourself, it can be God’s grace to make us more fully rely on Him. And it’s so good to have someone to walk with you through this. Your kids are blessed to have you as their parents.

  2. Your kids are so blessed to have you guys as parents!  Praise God that He is faithful to complete the good work He started in us, ’cause I’m falling short all the time.   Thanks for your open heart–love you! 

  3. My parents weren’t believers for a lot of my growing up years and I can so relate to this–both as a mom and as a wife.  I love what Sara said about 2 Cor. 12:8-9–His strength is made perfect in our weakness.  We just have to continually go to Him as our source of strength–that’s my struggle, unfortunately too often I try to do it on my own.  Thanks for being vulnerable.  Keep leaning on Him and your children definitely won’t have to be pioneer parents.  Thanks also for the encouragement on my site about the food battles–it’s so encouraging to know that we aren’t in this alone!  Thank you!  🙂

  4. Thanks for sharing all of this. I can relate to a lot of what you said- which you know, I think. It’s been a good year for working through things. I appreciate you guys as parents. Keep it up 🙂

  5. THis was a really cool post, Tara.  I’m glad you shared it.  I think we can all relate to the finding of flaws and bad habits we never knew existed once we are married.  It’s so amazing that you are working through those, though, as a wife and mother.  You are doing a great job with your kids.

  6. Thanks for the info about the water system.  It’s funny, I almost didn’t mention it, because I didn’t think anyone would have any info.  Do you have any idea how much those systems cost?  If not, I can search the internet–I just avoid that at all cost with our slow internet service!  🙂  Thanks again, Tara!  🙂

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