Finally, I feel like I know who I am……I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs(or the equivalent Keirsey Temperament) many a time and just never felt like I was an ISFJ…what I usually came out to be. Although the last time I took it during the application process with GBIM, I came out as an ESFP. I knew I wasn’t extroverted and so figured it was my need for relationships outside of being home all day with my kids, but the “P” was a new challenge to understand. Anyway….I just started reading the personality types online yesterday and trying to figure myself and Brian and the rest of our team out and kept coming back to the ISFP. Brian read thru them this morning, and also confirmed my thoughts….so I finally found myself after 32 years! I think some of my lack of self-awareness is evidenced in this personality type. My world just makes sense for the first time. I feel freedom and renewal and excitement….and all the things I’ve felt in my relationships finally make sense. And so much of my awareness has happened because of living cross-culturally……I have felt such a lack of space and freedom and lack of individuality and originality and confined and I just want to run outside into nature and relish it and worship God in it. I want the space and place to be creative and make things. And I’ve felt confined because I don’t have the space and place to do any of that right now, BUT we will figure out how to make it work. It is amazing how so much makes sense now……why I often feel awkwardly socially and have watched and learned from so many of you all how to act and what to say and ask. And last week I was researching social anxiety disorder and thought I had been experiencing that for years….but nope…..it’s just part of who I am and how I’ve had to learn to be socially aware and not so in my inner world. I was also reviewing in my head some conversations I’ve had with Jil and Deb and some of the things I’ve shared and frustrations have been about the”J”ness in others and how certain aspects have grated on me……and gave me more understanding of my not being a “J”, I really don’t like time constraints especially in regards to my creativity and my relationships and when I do….they all feel squelched and diminished. And why as a parent I like to just get up and go somewhere with my boys when I feel like it…on a walk, to the park…..but all that has been somewhat limited here…without a car and with busy streets and no sidewalks and with a park further away than I’d like. And I understand why I’ve never really wanted to be a leader or to lead others and well not exactly want to follow either. And why I love the beauty of dancer’s bodies and their beautiful lines and the beauty of ALL of nature and photography and the functionality of my house and the aesthetics of houses. I don’t want exaggerated attention about what I create or even how I dress…but I’ve always had a keen eye for fun, funky, practical, and original shoes. ( I had these sweet pair of vans in high school that NO ONE else I knew had…and I loved it! and hated when they couldn’t be worn anymore because of falling a part) And now I have a new awareness of trying to learn from all of you. So, now I have some new goals of working on my weaknesses and making sure I’m creating.
So, what personality type are you?